Week 6 Results: 6-8
Overall Results: 42-34
Last week’s recap:
The Lions got screwed, the Eagles secondary and Jameis Winston are both garbage, the Chiefs have lost two straight, the Niners are for real, the Jets beat Dallas lmao, and the Bills are second in the AFC.
Kansas City @ Denver:
Kansas City has lost two straight and Denver has won two straight but don’t overthink this one, KC will take this one on the road despite Mahomes actively recovering from an ankle injury. My buddy Nate (Denver Broncos season ticket holder) seems to think Denver is going to win this one but I’m going against him on this one. I don’t trust Flacco or the Broncos to get the job done.
LA Rams @ Atlanta:
The Falcons continue down their path of despair and the Rams just added the best Corner in the game. How do you think this is gonna go?…. Although, the Rams offense has been struggling and I’m continuing to put stock in the “Jared Goff can’t play outside of California” Theory. Still picking the Rams in this one.
Miami @ Buffalo:
The Bills are playing a minor league team coming off a bye week. Bills will be 5-1 after this week. What a world we live in…
Jacksonville @ Cincinnati:
The haves and the have-nots are beginning to become more and more apparent every week. The Bengals are clearly the have-nots. Jacksonville wins on the road whether or not AJ Green comes back.
Minnesota @ Detroit:
Dear Vikings Fans,
I was wrong. The Eagles did not win “by 100” last week. They were embarrassed by Stephon Diggs and fucking Kirk Cousins. I still hate you all, but I was wrong.
The league owes the Lions a win, so I’ll be watching this one to see how the game is officiated. The screw job the league laid on Detroit on Monday Night was the difference between being 1st and 4th in their division. Officials, on behalf of Detroit I’d like to tell you to go fuck yourselves.
Oakland @ Green Bay:
Ah, Green Bay. The beneficiary of the Monday Night officiating debacle. Karma should let the Raiders wallop you at home, but Jon Gruden is such a buffoon that I have to pick the Packers to win in Lambeau. By the way, the Lambeau Leap isn’t special. People jump into the stands at every friggin’ stadium. Just because you’ve named it something whimsical doesn’t make it special. “The Raider Romp”, “The Jets Jump”… see I can use alliteration too, ya Cheeseheads.
Houston @ Indianapolis:
Houston is starting to ball. Indy is losing juice. I know this is a division game so “anything can happen” but I’m predicting a big game from DeShaun Watson. The Colts should be relying more heavily on their run game, despite their insistence that they are relying on it. Their defense won’t be able to handle Houston’s attack.
Arizona @ NY Giants:
Kyler Murray and the Cards head to New Jersey to play Danny Dimes in East Rutherford. Traveling cross-country doesn’t usually bode well for teams, especially one’s that are just starting to find their footing. The Giants should have Barkley back too. Look for the Giants to put up some big numbers against an atrocious Cardinals defense.
San Francisco @ Washington:
Just when Washington fans thought it couldn’t get any worse for them… the 49ers roll into town to demolish them. Washington has no direction and frankly, no clue. Niners should enjoy their cross-country trip. This will be a sightseeing trip with a pitstop in Landover.
LA Chargers @ Tennessee:
The Titans don’t know who to start at Quarterback and the Chargers are coming off a loss to a third string QB at “home”. I say “home” because Carson looked like Pittsburgh last weekend. Hopefully their new stadium will draw new fans to adopt the Chargers because they haven’t had a home game in years. I’m picking the Titans in this one… but I don’t feel good about it. Neither of these teams will matter come playoff time.
New Orleans @ Chicago:
Is this season over for the Bears? Do they even know if they want to keep Mitch at QB? He hasn’t shown enough for me to sign him to a new deal. Teddy Bridgewater might be the future in New Orleans. He’s the highest paid backup in the league for a reason. The Saints paid him to do exactly what he’s been doing thus far, keep the Saints a competitor when Brees goes out. Bridgewater has done a phenomenal job keeping the Saints within range while Brees recovers from injury. New Orleans wins this one on the road, but it might be ugly. The Bears front line is still scary but without any scoring, it won’t matter.
Baltimore @ Seattle:
This one could be fun. The overwhelming majority are picking the Seahawks to win this one at home, but I really like Baltimore’s chances of stealing a win on the road. I don’t usually like picking teams who are traveling across the entire country, but I have a feeling about the Ravens this year. Let’s go Lamar.
Philadelphia @ Dallas:
This rivalry is a tale as old as time. The Cowboys are one of the few teams that have bandwagon fans without actually being good. I’m not sure how to describe this phenomenon. Mental illness? Is it a birth defect? I can’t explain it. Hopefully, the Eagles front seven will go into Dallas and show Jerry Jones why Dak Prescott isn’t worth $40 million dollars. On the other hand, it would be pretty great (for the rest of the league) if the Cowboys gave Dak $40 million bucks. I don’t see the hype, but then again I don’t understand why Dallas has such a massive following. The Eagles need to get it done this weekend to secure first place in the division and Howie needs to go out and get the Eagles a salvageable secondary before I lose my mind. #FlyEaglesFly
New England @ NY Jets:
J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!! I owed them that because they took care of the Cowboys last week. Unfortunately the buzz saw is coming to them this week in New Jersey. This could actually be an interesting wrinkle… the Giants play in the same stadium on Sunday so the field could be pretty torn up. It won’t change the fact that the Pats are going to smash the Jets on National TV, but it is something to watch for. If the Jets were to beat the Pats, my mother would have to go into hiding. Godspeed, Maribeth.